Frum dating for sex

I thought laying low was best for me in the long run. So like this is my first year working and I got a job in an office in a very frum place in town.

My office is mainly a ladies’ office and I have little to do with the men whom I work for.

But like on second thought I was wondering maybe even though I think for my very sheltered background I am pretty open-minded and stuff, like maybe deep down I am still a prude.

I mean, is it really so bad talking about this with a friend? Like we are so closed off from the world in so many ways so how are people to find out about things if not at least to like talk with other girls in their same situation?

To get to the point, my office has a very heimish, close atmosphere, which is nice actually.

Perhaps there it was more physical experimenting and flirting going on, but like the basic thing was the same.

It can be a bit of a culture shock, and so many yeshiva grads opt for years in Israel or for an education in safer environments (YU/Stern, JTS, or even Columbia/Barnard or Brandeis) but I think it’s often important for individual growth to realize you’re part of a minority, and that your view is actually quite separate and different from the consensus of what is appropriate, or right, or accepted.

Maybe the whole frum experience of living apart, unquestioningly, in a modern world is too much for some people to handle.

The issue of sexuality–casual and committed, homo- and hetero-, pre-marital and even extra-marital (Newsweek ran an extensive cover story about how women are the new face of marital infidelity)–is one that we continue to struggle with in our own lives, and for the religious among us, it’s sometimes even more layered with difficulty, as these Craigslist ads reveal.

[Esther steps off soapbox.] This entry was posted by Esther Kustanowitz on July 28, 2004 at pm, and is filed under Uncategorized. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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